“Now that he was safe from the world outside he was being attacked from within his own head.” – Cal by Bernard Maclaverty, p.106.
The art process is very vulnerable and uncertain. Much of the time that I spend working alone is filled with doubts and negativity from my mind. Art involves so much self criticism that one become less bothered by others expectations. One of the things my professor tells students is to not forget what you do well. As a group, we spend more time attempting to perfect that which is already perfect. Let your mind rest and enjoy your days.
Graphite, vine charcoal, and oil pastel on light green conte paper.
Although everyone experiences rock bottom emotionally at some point, I think it’s important to remember three time frames. The past is that which remains unchanged. Remaining in it’s suffocating embrace, weakens the spirit and mind. The present is that which remains in process, creating the future that is always ready for you to take charge. Sometimes we have to move away from our pasts, in hopes that our futures will seem like dreams.
Today I completed a figure drawing and for the first time in a while I said to myself, “Wow. I really like this.” I think it’s interesting how many people who don’t create assume that art comes naturally to certain people or that we aren’t so self critical. Artists are self critical by nature because that’s how we improve. This isn’t perfect but I like it.
This portrait study took a great amount of focus. It was difficult at first (trying to understand the angles and structure of the body, before manipulating the surface to look like the subject’s skin), but I learned a lot through every brush stroke. It exercised my ability to paint what was in front of me, rather than what my eye thought it saw.